I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
