We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
