also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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