woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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