Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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