ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
