Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
