So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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