I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
