Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
