IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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