Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What a dumb baby whore.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
