You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
