i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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