just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize