2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
