Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
