i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
