why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
