I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
