On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
