and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize