Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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