dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
