We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
