i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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