I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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