drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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