he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize