We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize