I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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