is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
