I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
BRING THE BAGELS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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