hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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