There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
