I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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