I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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