We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
