i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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