Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
