do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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