I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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