There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
