But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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