"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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