he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
