Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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