Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
