wakey wakey hands off snakey
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
