So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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