i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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