is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just want to make out with him forever
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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