nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
