he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
