i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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