every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
