he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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