3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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