So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
