is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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