She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
